Wedding day jitters, butterflies in the stomach,
cold feet - are these normal things to feel before
a wedding? Of course! We all get them! After all,
your wedding is not just one of the biggest days
of your life, but also the precursor to a new way
of life. Read on for some ways to keep your cool
on your Big Day:
The wedding is a huge event that is often the
result of months, sometimes years, of preparation
and planning. Imagine a pot that has long been
simmering and cooking over a small fire. It is
bound to eventually reach boiling point! Try not
to allow that pot to boil over on the day of your
wedding.
You know your own stressful habits and mannerisms,
so if you tend to be explosive, give your wedding
party lots of forewarning. It is best they understand
beforehand whether to give you lots of attention
or to keep their distance in those hours prior
to the wedding. If there are a couple of family
members or friends who have a calming effect on
you, ask them if they’d spend the time before
the ceremony to talk or just sit quietly gathering
thoughts. Though you might want to stew in your
own thoughts, it’s not a good idea to isolate
yourself completely.
An interesting idea is to write yourself or your
future spouse a letter, explaining your feelings.
Then seal the letter and open to read it at a much
later time. You’ll probably have a good laugh
over the anxiety you once felt!
Learn to delegate tasks and responsibilities.
On your wedding day you should be focused on your
own preparations, or trying to relax, instead of
hunting for extension cords. Let other people take
care of the guest book, wedding
gifts, paying the
vendors, etc.
If your nerves are truly getting to you, then
try these quick stress relievers. Scream into a
pillow or cushion- it’s much better than
screaming at your mother or bridesmaids! Do a few
pushups or jumping jacks (though do watch out if
you’re in your wedding attire!). Meditate.
Bathe your pulse points- your forehead, temples,
inner wrists- with a cold cloth or ice. Fold origami.
Repeat a line of a song or poem until it loses
meaning and makes you laugh.
The point is to focus your stress and negative
thoughts into a mindless task that will keep you
from slipping back down that road of negativity,
fear or doubt. That’s right, the underlying
source of your pre-wedding jitters is always fear.
Thus, during the months of wedding
preparations,
keep in communication with your future spouse,
your friends and family. Tell them if you’re
worried about something; they’ll be sure
to try and help. Don’t speak of your fears
with only your spouse as that may lead to escalating
tension between the two of you and that’s
not what you want before a wedding. For lingering
jitters or fears that intensify or won’t
go away, consider going to a trusted third party,
such as a family member, member of the church,
or even a counselor. You should try to figure out
the underlying factor(s) that are causing the fear,
then work to combat them.
Focus on all the good, loving time with your future
spouse. You worked so hard together to plan the
wedding, so ask yourself, Why would someone do
that if they were not already deeply committed
and in love with you? Remember that you are having
this wedding together to express and share your
love with your closest family and friends. There
is nothing to fear…now, go have the best
wedding of your life!
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