Do you know what you will be saying during the actual marriage ceremony? This is one of the most important and memorable parts of the whole process, and yet it can be one of the most difficult parts to decide on. Do you opt for traditional vows or would you prefer something that is more individual and says more about the people you are?

The “I take you” approach is still chosen by some couples as being the only thing they could say during the service. But if this seems too bland for your tastes you should think about some alternatives way ahead of time. Changing the vows to something suitable that still sounds nice is not easy. It may also depend on whether you are getting married in a church or in a registry office.

If it is the former you should discuss the marriage vows with the vicar to see whether certain lines need to be included. You can also discuss how alternative you want to be with the vows; the vicar may even be able to give you some examples of how other couples have tackled this area successfully.

But if you do go for the modern way of saying your vows you need to find a balance between personalising them and going too far. Remember that your wedding will take place in front of lots of your friends and family members. Your vows not only need to be appropriate to the service, they also need to be appropriate to say in front of an audience.

Another point to consider is whether you wish your vows to be religious in nature. If you have opted to be married in a registry office you may want to tone this aspect of the ceremony down. Not everyone wants their wedding ceremony to be religious in nature, and this does of course extend to the vows as well.

This is also something that needs to be agreed upon by both the bride and the groom. It’s a good idea to sit down and discuss what each of you would like to say. Are there any specific ideas you have in mind to use for your vows? Perhaps you can come up with something better together that you would both like to say? Working on it as a couple is essential, not only because you can come up with different ideas but also because you will arrive at a set of vows you both believe in and that work for you.

If you are stumped for inspiration you can look online for examples of both traditional and more unusual vows. You don’t have to use them exactly as you find them but they may inspire you to come up with something else yourself.

Your wedding vows will be heard by everyone in the congregation as you turn towards each other and say them aloud. What would you be proud to say as your wedding day finally arrives? Take care in choosing because you will remember those words for a long time to come.

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